Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
