JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
