so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
