She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
