Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
