I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
