My balls are so social today.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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