moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
