At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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