Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
