I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
