I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You smell like stripper and shame
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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