Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
