I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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