you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
