ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
