wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
