I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
