Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So many bounce houses so little time
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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