YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
