Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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