Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
