that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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