Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
