three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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