All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
