True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
