Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
