The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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