Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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