Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
