Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
