her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
