i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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