this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
