There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
