If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
