I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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