It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
