Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
