you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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