Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
