Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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