And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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