Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
