i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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