i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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