I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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