you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
