his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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