I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
