I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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