I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
